Facebook booted me again!

So Facebook deemed my picture offensive... What the fuck?

Random Things We Don't Talk About

... All the dirty things you say to people on SCRUFF over the weekend, when you see them out at lunch on Tuesday...

Random Things We Don't Talk About...

The booger you just sneaked and picked while sitting at a stoplight...

"Who's Your Daddy?" him-magazine.com August 2012

“Who’s your DADDY!”

In today’s gay culture the phenomenon of the DADDY/boy is alive and well.  The idea of a more dominant guy coupled with a more submissive one has been around forever, and these days it takes on many different forms.  I am not embarrassed to say that I get called “Daddy” a lot these days.  I think it started when I was around 35, but the Daddy role doesn’t always have an age component.   The first time a hot muscle twink asked “Hey Daddy, wanna hook up?” I looked around not realizing he meant me.  I hadn’t wrapped my head around the fact that I was getting a little older, weighed over 200 pounds of muscle, and definitely let my dominant personality define my image.  Once I looked in the mirror and adjusted to my new role, I relished the chance to be the DADDY!  Like I mentioned earlier, there are multiple styles of Daddy/boy roles, a few of which I can touch on here.

Older/younger:  The most obvious Daddy scenario involves an older man taking a younger guy under his wing, making most of the decisions, taking the alpha role and being a role model (and sometimes a true father figure).  Usually the younger boy pulls his weight in the relationship by expending his energy and devotion making the Daddy happy, with the Daddy being the stable rock in the relationship.  A significant number of times, the financial dependence of the boy on the Daddy plays a major role in the relationship dynamic.  I have also seen this type of pairing portray itself as a maturity level situation with less of an age gap.  Typically I haven’t seen these relationships have a longer term focus (although I know of a few exceptions!) as the Daddy is usually interested in the boy for his youthful appearance and less mature attitude, and as the boy grows up and matures physically and emotionally, the attraction fizzles, or the boy wants a more equal status in the relationship, causing insecurity in the Daddy’s control.

SIR/Slave: The leather community has long embraced the Daddy/boy culture, typically under the more aggressive titles of “Sir,” and either “slave or boy.”  Usually these relationships primarily revolve around the sexual component of the relationship, but in many more extreme cases the slave boy can be collared (literally wearing a chain and lock) and the Sir having the final say in all life decisions for the boy.  Typically, the dominant Sir is a top and the boy is a bottom, but not always.  The main focus of this style Daddy relationship is all about the wants and desires of the Sir, with the boy’s pleasure and success in the relationship completely dependent on his ability to accommodate the Sir’s demands.

Top/ bottom:  The use of the Daddy/boy dynamic is most easily observed in the top/bottom roles during sex for many guys.  Many times the bottom will be a more submissive bed partner, letting the top make the moves, position decisions and generally allow the top to be the aggressor.  In fewer cases, the Power Bottom can be the Daddy role, demanding to be taken certain ways, putting the Top through his paces and directing the sex!

So bringing this back to my adult film world, I’m a Daddy. Usually on film I’ve been paired with smaller (either height or weight) guys, with the directors asking me to take the reins and be the super aggressive sexual top that I am. I get off on calling guys boy during sex, and physically dominating and over powering my sex partners.  BUT I do have so say, sex with another guy who also likes to be the Daddy can be amazing as well. The “fight” for dominance and control, and the hyper masculine competition can lead to the best orgasms! So I think the best thing for all? Figure out what your favorite role is and become an expert at it, then change it up and try the other role on for size.  Appreciate the ability to be amazing as either the Daddy or the boy, and keep ‘em guessing!

Random things we don't talk about..

... Like when you fart in your car just before you park and get out... And it still stinks when you get back in later...

QUESTION OF THE DAY!

I'm bringing back an old tradition i had of asking really random questions and hopefully getting super fun answers back!

So here's the first in the new series:

What's your favorite soup?

"What's Hot" article, June 2012

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Fucked Hard Pic

Originally published with www.him-magazine.com May 2012

LEATHER. SWEAT. GROWLING. SEX. When I was told this was “leather month” for the magazine, I got a little turned on.  You see, I’m a super aggressive sexual partner that enjoys hardcore, man-on-man, sweaty, butch sex.  Needless to say, that more often than naught means leather is involved.  As a fitness/fetish/adult model, I see a little bit of everything, have tried most of it at least once and have repeated what I liked in my personal sex time.  Leather can be very intimidating, exciting and a little scary (which can be a good thing) but those same qualities sometimes make folks a little nervous about how to experiment with leather, BD/SM, whips, harnesses and the like.  For example….

I was nervous!  Just a few weeks ago, I was doing my first photo shoot involving bondage, for Mr. S Leather (www.mr-s-leather.com), a great fetish store in San Francisco, and wasn’t sure what to expect. You see, I’m a control freak, and was always the one in charge during my fetish play.  My partner Scotty Rage (@scottyragexxx) and I (@hardingonfilm) had both been hired for the shoot.  We knew it would be fetish oriented as that’s the specialty of the store, but had no idea what direction it would take.  We showed up, and were told we were doing a photo shoot based on bondage and hitting (punching) and that I was the target for Scotty to hit. So here I was, for the first time getting bound with rope, leather, locks and a spreader pole, with the expectation on me that I like it enough to give good face and pics during the scene and still photo shoot!   It was a bit scary to think about, but also exciting. I’ve always incorporated a bit of aggressive hitting during sex, so that didn’t worry me, but the bondage part did, just a little. 

Needless to say the shoot was a success and gave up just enough control to make it thrilling and came away with a great new experience.  I would rank our scene for the shoot as a moderately kinky situation (you can take this style scene MUCH further than we did), and was happy that we kept it in a range we were both comfortable with (I was not comfortable with the stun gun that was offered at one point) and had a blast. 

One of the things of which I was reminded after the shoot is how easy it is to incorporate things into your daily sex life, at whatever level you’re comfortable and explore from there.  Call it “The Lighter Side of Leather” or “leather for lightweights” and take what you want into the bedroom. 

Some of the most interesting things you can start experimenting with are in your closet right now.  Put on those black boots and wear them to bed. Further take those long laces and have your partner lash your feet together.  Use a belt or tie to bind your hands (trick- if you’re nervous about real knots, just wind it tightly around your hands and hold it in one, that way you can keep a little more control about being released).  Thinking of sensory deprivation? Use a blindfold for starters and work up to hoods. 

Now a word of caution.  For things such as hitting (there’s a wrong and a right way), breathe control, genital bondage and the like, DO YOUR RESEARCH FIRST! Nothing ruins a night of experimentation like a trip to the hospital…

So my advice? Start simply, and small, and let it build as you go.  The journey to get to the kink level you love will be the exciting part of the process. Take the time to experience it! When you’re ready to explore more intensely check out online stores like www.mr-s-leather.com for a better selection of options.  

Originally published with www.Him-magazine.com April 2012

LUXURY! What does that word mean? For any of the ladies on “The Real Housewives of [insert city name here]” it means super expensive products or services about which most of us only dream.  For the homeless guy in the park, it can be a new, dry clean blanket.  These are extremes obviously, but it got me thinking, “What do I consider to be a luxury in my world?”

Well like most folks these days, TIME tends to be a luxury item for me.  I burn the candle at both ends (and in the middle), so whenever I can steal an hour or two just for myself, I consider that the ultimate luxury item.  Now what to do during that brief respite?  When I sat down to think about this article, I decided that I was going to schedule myself an afternoon on a Sunday, just to do luxurious things for myself, and see what I came up with.  Now I’m not a rich bitch, nor am I a pauper, but doing things for myself must always be on a budget, so I developed my “discount luxury day” concept to accommodate.  Here’s how that afternoon transpired:

Noon

Gym time! I train my roommate three times a week in the gym, and this was one obligation I couldn’t work around, so I worked it in to my day.  We did his workout, I did mine after (back day!) and then I stopped and thought, "What can I do here at the YMCA that is sort of a luxury?”  I took an extra hour at the end of my workout to stretch (always feels so YOGA good!) and sat multiple times in the steam room, sipping my bottled water and jumping out to the showers for a cold splash and to moisturize every now and then.  My “poor man’s spa” event was a success.  I left feeling refreshed and relaxed, even after a VERY tough workout. 

2:15pm

Green Hills, Tennessee (just south of Nashville) is a high end, financially extravagant area of the city, and that’s where the YMCA I visited was situated.  Right out the front door is a great mall with super high end stores and cafés, and I do love to shop.  So next was an hour or so of window shopping at Guess, Buckle, True Religion, Apple Store, Z Gallerie, Williams & Sonoma and Restoration Hardware to name a few stores.  There were many things I really wanted to buy clothing wise, but being the financially responsible guy that I am, just couldn’t bring myself to purchase the $400 jeans or $175 shorts.  And that led to the next stop on my day and one of the activities…

3:35pm

California Pizza Kitchen!  I love good food, and the gorgonzola and pear pizza is one of my favorites when you add a sliced grilled chicken breast from CPK.  I like it there because it feels more gourmet, without the super high price tag.  So I found myself a comfy booth, brought in one of the books I was currently reading (yep, I read real paper books as well as eBooks) and my laptop and settled in.  Two glasses of their house Pinot Grigio, a wedge blue cheese salad and a pizza later I had spent two hours relaxing reading and ONLINE SHOPPING! I’m a big fan of shopping via the internet.  For example Ben Sherman shorts I wanted in the store, $175… Gently used slightly different Ben Sherman version purchased off ebay, $34.  So I was able to do some wardrobe updating based on the styles I’d seen in the mall, while sipping wine in a comfy booth, chatting with a cute server and snacking the entire afternoon.  I have to say this was probably the best luxury time I had reserved for myself in a month.

6:05pm

What meal isn’t complete without coffee?  Starbucks was my next stop for a Venti, Skinny Caramel Macchiato, and social time with a friend.  We sat for about an hour catching up (he was in from out of town) and chatting about the future.  After that I was scheduled to meet another friend for small plates of food and more wine (wine and food are always a great combo on a luxury day). 

7:30pm

Two bottles of moderately priced wine, a bunch of small tapas style plates and Charlie was a happy man.  I love going to the locally owned restaurants for unique flavors and creations and we had a blast at one such establishment. 

10:00pm

Off to the dive bar for beers!  Who doesn’t like going to a great local watering hole with creaky bar stools, random drunk people and a great beer selection?  And just so you know my favorite, Stella Artois, tastes even better during their two for one special!  We had a couple beers, chatted with random bar patrons and ended the evening happy.

12:45am

Home to bed.

So that was my day of cheap luxury.  Time is the number one thing I wish I had more of, and I think I did a damn good job of making the most of my free afternoon and evening, feeling that everything I did added to my well-being, my sense of relaxation and the luxurious nature of my life!  All in all I spent a total of around $165 for the entire day, including the shorts, food, wine, beer and gas to get everywhere…  And I think the value far outweighed that expense! So as a “Model Citizen” my advice to you: Take time for yourself, plan something fun and don’t let anything become a more important priority.  Luxury can be big extravagance sometimes or other times simply a quick moment we steal just for ourselves. 

So one of the things I'm gonna do is re-post all the articles I've written for various publications!  Get ready for the first of many to come!

welcome to my world

HEY GANG! Yes I'm entering the wonderful world of blogging because I know you all wanna know what I think about everything!  Looking forward to sharing all sorts of stuff!