Saturday, January 12, 2013

Originally published with www.him-magazine.com May 2012


LEATHER. SWEAT. GROWLING. SEX. When I was told this was “leather month” for the magazine, I got a little turned on.  You see, I’m a super aggressive sexual partner that enjoys hardcore, man-on-man, sweaty, butch sex.  Needless to say, that more often than naught means leather is involved.  As a fitness/fetish/adult model, I see a little bit of everything, have tried most of it at least once and have repeated what I liked in my personal sex time.  Leather can be very intimidating, exciting and a little scary (which can be a good thing) but those same qualities sometimes make folks a little nervous about how to experiment with leather, BD/SM, whips, harnesses and the like.  For example….

I was nervous!  Just a few weeks ago, I was doing my first photo shoot involving bondage, for Mr. S Leather (www.mr-s-leather.com), a great fetish store in San Francisco, and wasn’t sure what to expect. You see, I’m a control freak, and was always the one in charge during my fetish play.  My partner Scotty Rage (@scottyragexxx) and I (@hardingonfilm) had both been hired for the shoot.  We knew it would be fetish oriented as that’s the specialty of the store, but had no idea what direction it would take.  We showed up, and were told we were doing a photo shoot based on bondage and hitting (punching) and that I was the target for Scotty to hit. So here I was, for the first time getting bound with rope, leather, locks and a spreader pole, with the expectation on me that I like it enough to give good face and pics during the scene and still photo shoot!   It was a bit scary to think about, but also exciting. I’ve always incorporated a bit of aggressive hitting during sex, so that didn’t worry me, but the bondage part did, just a little. 

Needless to say the shoot was a success and gave up just enough control to make it thrilling and came away with a great new experience.  I would rank our scene for the shoot as a moderately kinky situation (you can take this style scene MUCH further than we did), and was happy that we kept it in a range we were both comfortable with (I was not comfortable with the stun gun that was offered at one point) and had a blast. 

One of the things of which I was reminded after the shoot is how easy it is to incorporate things into your daily sex life, at whatever level you’re comfortable and explore from there.  Call it “The Lighter Side of Leather” or “leather for lightweights” and take what you want into the bedroom. 

Some of the most interesting things you can start experimenting with are in your closet right now.  Put on those black boots and wear them to bed. Further take those long laces and have your partner lash your feet together.  Use a belt or tie to bind your hands (trick- if you’re nervous about real knots, just wind it tightly around your hands and hold it in one, that way you can keep a little more control about being released).  Thinking of sensory deprivation? Use a blindfold for starters and work up to hoods. 

Now a word of caution.  For things such as hitting (there’s a wrong and a right way), breathe control, genital bondage and the like, DO YOUR RESEARCH FIRST! Nothing ruins a night of experimentation like a trip to the hospital…

So my advice? Start simply, and small, and let it build as you go.  The journey to get to the kink level you love will be the exciting part of the process. Take the time to experience it! When you’re ready to explore more intensely check out online stores like www.mr-s-leather.com for a better selection of options.  

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