“Who’s your DADDY!”
In today’s gay culture the phenomenon of the DADDY/boy is
alive and well. The idea of a more
dominant guy coupled with a more submissive one has been around forever, and
these days it takes on many different forms.
I am not embarrassed to say that I get called “Daddy” a lot these
days. I think it started when I was
around 35, but the Daddy role doesn’t always have an age component. The first time a hot muscle twink asked “Hey
Daddy, wanna hook up?” I looked around not realizing he meant me. I hadn’t wrapped my head around the fact that
I was getting a little older, weighed over 200 pounds of muscle, and definitely
let my dominant personality define my image.
Once I looked in the mirror and adjusted to my new role, I relished the
chance to be the DADDY! Like I mentioned
earlier, there are multiple styles of Daddy/boy roles, a few of which I can
touch on here.
Older/younger: The
most obvious Daddy scenario involves an older man taking a younger guy under
his wing, making most of the decisions, taking the alpha role and being a role
model (and sometimes a true father figure).
Usually the younger boy pulls his weight in the relationship by
expending his energy and devotion making the Daddy happy, with the Daddy being
the stable rock in the relationship. A
significant number of times, the financial dependence of the boy on the Daddy
plays a major role in the relationship dynamic.
I have also seen this type of pairing portray itself as a maturity level
situation with less of an age gap. Typically
I haven’t seen these relationships have a longer term focus (although I know of
a few exceptions!) as the Daddy is usually interested in the boy for his
youthful appearance and less mature attitude, and as the boy grows up and
matures physically and emotionally, the attraction fizzles, or the boy wants a
more equal status in the relationship, causing insecurity in the Daddy’s
control.
SIR/Slave: The leather community has long embraced the
Daddy/boy culture, typically under the more aggressive titles of “Sir,” and
either “slave or boy.” Usually these
relationships primarily revolve around the sexual component of the
relationship, but in many more extreme cases the slave boy can be collared
(literally wearing a chain and lock) and the Sir having the final say in all
life decisions for the boy. Typically,
the dominant Sir is a top and the boy is a bottom, but not always. The main focus of this style Daddy
relationship is all about the wants and desires of the Sir, with the boy’s
pleasure and success in the relationship completely dependent on his ability to
accommodate the Sir’s demands.
Top/ bottom: The use
of the Daddy/boy dynamic is most easily observed in the top/bottom roles during
sex for many guys. Many times the bottom
will be a more submissive bed partner, letting the top make the moves, position
decisions and generally allow the top to be the aggressor. In fewer cases, the Power Bottom can be the
Daddy role, demanding to be taken certain ways, putting the Top through his
paces and directing the sex!
So bringing this back to my adult film world, I’m a Daddy.
Usually on film I’ve been paired with smaller (either height or weight) guys,
with the directors asking me to take the reins and be the super aggressive
sexual top that I am. I get off on calling guys boy during sex, and physically
dominating and over powering my sex partners.
BUT I do have so say, sex with another guy who also likes to be the
Daddy can be amazing as well. The “fight” for dominance and control, and the
hyper masculine competition can lead to the best orgasms! So I think the best
thing for all? Figure out what your favorite role is and become an expert at
it, then change it up and try the other role on for size. Appreciate the ability to be amazing as
either the Daddy or the boy, and keep ‘em guessing!
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